[ An awkward silence cuts through him and settles over his bones -- because what do you say when apologies don't seem enough?
He's flashing back to Brianna's birthday bash, to the way he'd been watching Rethe and that moment of shiiiit when their eyes had met over the crowd and he'd only had enough in him to promptly turn around and duck away.
He'd made it a point to avoid looking at Rethe that night, had also zoned Rethe out in earnest the following day -- or had tried to, because sitting with the Hounds had been a helpful distraction up until the point the angel had begged off with the excuse of feeling unwell and Stan had directed the question Josh, do angels get sick? at him.
And then he'd had to deliberately focus on football plays in order to block out the memory of the way Rethe had been for the rest of the night -- doing his best to have fun but somehow failing to do so completely, his smiles always coming a second too late.
Getting away had been easy. Joining Yulia on that trip to Norway, focusing on something else, because then he didn't have to deal with the confusing feelings of feeling something for Rethe, but failing to reconcile it with the fact that... it wasn't necessarily... well.
Seriously, what can you say when sorry doesn't seem enough? ]
no subject
He's flashing back to Brianna's birthday bash, to the way he'd been watching Rethe and that moment of shiiiit when their eyes had met over the crowd and he'd only had enough in him to promptly turn around and duck away.
He'd made it a point to avoid looking at Rethe that night, had also zoned Rethe out in earnest the following day -- or had tried to, because sitting with the Hounds had been a helpful distraction up until the point the angel had begged off with the excuse of feeling unwell and Stan had directed the question Josh, do angels get sick? at him.
And then he'd had to deliberately focus on football plays in order to block out the memory of the way Rethe had been for the rest of the night -- doing his best to have fun but somehow failing to do so completely, his smiles always coming a second too late.
Getting away had been easy. Joining Yulia on that trip to Norway, focusing on something else, because then he didn't have to deal with the confusing feelings of feeling something for Rethe, but failing to reconcile it with the fact that... it wasn't necessarily... well.
Seriously, what can you say when sorry doesn't seem enough? ]